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Balls of Steel Episode 10: O Aaliyah, Where Art Thou?
“Last time on a rather Jewish episode of Balls of Steel…. Shit happened, Grass won immunity, Fiz got voted out, and not a single fuck was given on that day! Six are left, who will get launched tonight? Find out right here, right now, on Balls of RJ- err I mean Steel!” (Intro plays) (Merge Camp- Day 28) (Ally, Chip, Dark, Grass, and Toast are all gathered around their campfire, relaxing. When all of a sudden….) Heo: THE CHAMP IS HE’AH! Grass: ??? Heo: Juan Hena has arrived to win this game! #HeoWinsLOL Dark: Boi Toast: Like we would let some Mexican win. Chip: Oh look, another failed attempt gimmick from Heo. Such a failure. Heo: You mean like all of your wiki’s? Dark: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Ally: Teehee! That was funny, Heo! Heo: *blushes* ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heo: *In Confessional* Man, I really think Ally is starting to dig me. I think it’s time I finally made a move on her. But how? There aren’t any Dairy Queens on this island. So how am I gonna please her with the two dollars in my pocket? Hmmm……… Ally: *In Confessional* Like, Heo can be soooo hot if he really wanted to be. But don’t tell him I said that! Or else I will have to liek, fucking kill you LOL! <3 Grass: *In Confessional* Heo is really starting to worry me with this Ally stuff. If he doesn’t keep his head in the game, I’m fucked. Chip: *In Confessional* Ally needs to close her legs and calm herself. If she lets that damn Heo get too close to her, then my game is done! Dark & Toast: *In Confessional* Looks like it’s the final two for us. B) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chip: Hey Grass, can I see you for a second? Grass: I’m not gonna fall for one of your scheming tricks, Chip. So knock it off. Chip: It’s one-hundred percent serious. Grass: *sigh* Fine. Just lemme get up here. Urgh. *struggles to get on feet* Okay, let’s go. (Grass and Chip walk off into a secluded area in the woods, as we see Ally alone, by herself, depressed looking, as Heo decides to make his move and comfort her) Heo: What’s wrong, Ally? Ally: It’s Fiz. He was like my BFF here and you guys had to go and vote him out! And now I have no friends here! *cries* Heo: Um……. *pats Ally on the back* It’s ok. Everything is going to be alright. Don’t you worry. (Bob Marley’s ghost all of a sudden appears) Bob Marley: *singing* Cus every little thing, is gonna be alright! Heo: >.> Ally: *sniffs* Like, omg, hug me! (Ally wraps her arms around Heo and squeezes him, much to Heo’s surprise) Heo: *whispering* I finally did it! Yes! Yes! Yes! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heo: *In Confessional* God, I just want to say: Gracias! I met a few bumps and bruises on the way, but in the end, I finally got Ally to touch me! Now my life here on the island is complete….. Not to say I still dont wanna win! Cus I totally do! Wow, imagine me, walking off with both the million dollars AND the girl. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Meanwhile, we see Grass and Chip alone, in a secluded spot) Chip: Okay, so here’s the thing. I don’t like you. You don’t like me. BUT, we both saw how close Ally and Heo are getting. And you and I both know that isn’t good for our gameplay. If we let both of them slide by to the final three, and one of them wins immunity, no way in Hell are they taking me or you to the end with them. So we HAVE to split them up. Grass: You make a good point. Besides, Ally is annoying af and Heo has been nothing but a fuq boi since Day One. I’m in. Chip: Alright good. And to prove my loyalty to you, I’ll have us vote out Ally. Grass: Deal. (Chip and Grass, the two strategic masterminds of the season, shake hands) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chip: *In Confessional* Don’t get me wrong, this plan is legit. But it’s not as if I’m doing it to benefit Grass. You see, once Ally is gone, Heo will be devastated, then I’ll warm up to him, and convince him to target Grass. Then I’m kicking it in the Final Four! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Immunity Challenge- Day 29) Chwiis: Ok mates. For today’s challenge, you will be divided into three pairs. Each pair will have to work together to create the most ogre-licious painting ever. The winners will share immunity. Sound simple enough, Americans? Dark: Nope. Chwiis: Too bad, you have two hours to make your paintings. You may also choose your pairs. Go! (Ally and Heo starts walking towards each other, before they are stopped by Chip and Grass, who drag them in the opposite direction) Chip: Come on, Heo. What do you say us two Wiki leaders form a union, eh? Heo: B-But Ally… Grass: Come one Ally, let’s say you and old Boograssi bond a little. Ally: But, I’ve never seen a James Bond movie! Dark: Welp, I guess this means it’s me and you again, Toasty. Toast: Toast! (Two hours have passed by) Chwiis: Alright, times up! Now for the judging part. Aqua will be the judge. Aqua: Oh I see, have the gay guy be the judge of an art show. Squigga please, you is ratchet. Chwiis: Just shut up and judge the paintings, please. Aqua: Fine. Ugh! (Aqua walks up to Grass and Ally first) Aqua: What do you have here. Grass: *reveals painting* Tada! (We see a painting of Batista powerbombing Garret wearing an iHop hat) Aqua: Hmmmm. It’s definitely unique. 8 out of 10 I give it. Ally: Yay! (Aqua proceeds to Chip and Heo) Aqua: And what have you guys done? Chip: *reveals painting* Tada- Wait, um, WTF!? Aqua: Yeah, WTF is right. (We see a painting of what appears to be a naked Asian girl, with leaves covering her naughty parts and her holding out a Dairy Queen cup) Chip: Um, Heo, you painted this, not me. What the Hell. Heo: *Sigh* I felt lonely. Aqua: Not really my cup of tea, but since the style itself is well done, I’ll give it enough credit for a 5 out of 10. Which means it comes down to Dark and Toast’s painting. (Aqua walks up to Dark and Toast) Aqua: Show me what you got. Toast: *pulls off cover* I present to you, the ultimate masterpiece of the 21st Century! (The painting shows Shrek and Max Goof chilling out, as they hold pieces of butter toast) Chwiis: *cries* It’s so beautiful! Aqua: Wow, this is….. AMAZEBALLS! Ten out of ten! Chwiis: Dark and Toast win immunity! Dark: Woohoo! Toast: The power of Toast compels us! Chwiis: As for the other four of you. One of you is going home tomorrow. See ya at the elimination ceremony. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heo: *In Confessional* Man, I really don’t want to see Ally go. But Grass makes a point. She is gonna end up screwing our plans, so even though this is by far the hardest vote, I have no choice but to vote for Ally. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Elimination Ceremony- Night 30) Chwiis: Alright fgts, the votes have been cast. When I call your name, you will receive a piece of ogre fetus. Aqua: Um ew wtf. Chwiis: The following are safe…. Dark Toast Grass Heo Chip. Chwiis: Which means….. Goodbye Ally! Ally: *stands up* Like, OMG yay I finally get to leave this dump! Chwiis: The Hurl of Shame awaits, Aaliyah. (Ally proceeds to walk towards the dock, but all of a sudden trips and what appaers to be a wooden Shrek head falls out from her pocket) Ally: Oof! Liek, ow! LOL! *gets up* Anyways, see ya guys! Chwiis: Wait! What is that? Ally: What is what? Chwiis: That thing that fell out of your pocket. Ally: Oh, this? *picks it up* I don’t know, the other day I was bored so I began digging around the beach with my feet, and found this. I never thought much of it, but thought it was cool looking so I stuffed it into my hoodie pocket. Chwiis: May I take a look at it? Ally: No, you suck! Chwiis: *snatches it from her anyways* Gimme that! *examines it* My goodness, this is a wooden Shrek head. Do you know what this means? You found an idol! So that means…. You’re safe! Ally: Wait, what? Other contestants: *Gasp* What!? Chwiis: Which means it’s time to re-tally the votes then I guess. The rules state that when someone is voted out with the possession of an invincibility statue, the person with the second amount of votes is eliminated. But here’s the thing. The vote was practically unanimous. Everyone voted for Ally except for Ally herself. So it all comes down to Ally’s vote. Ally: Wow guys. thanks a lot! Jerks! Chwiis: So without further ado, the person going home is…… …. ….. …. …. ….. ….. ….. ….. …. Chwiis: Heo! Heo: WHAT!? Grass: What!? Dark: Oh shit! Toast: Oh shit! Aqua: Oh mah gerd! Chwiis: OH DAAAAAAAYYUUUMMM!!!! Heo: B-But… Why me!? I thought we had something special going on! Ally: Liek, ew! Gross! I only used you so I didn’t feel lonely. I would NEVER actually go out with you! Like never ever EVER! Heo: But…. But…. ._. *twitches* Ally: So bye-bye, Benny! ;) *pushes Heo down and walks over to other contestants* Grass: Damn. #RejectionBoi Heo: *lying on ground, still twitching and lifeless* Aqua: Looks like we’re gonna have to carry him to the Hurl of Shame. (We cut to Heo sitting on top of a catapult, still twitching with a lifeless glare in his eyes) Chwiis: Normally I would ask for final words, but it’s obvious what just happened has left you completely speechless. So yeah, adios, beaner! (Aqua releases the catapult, sending Heo flying into space) Heo: MIIIEEEEEERRRDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Chwiis: Damn, looks like he wasn’t dead after all…. yet! LOL anyways, I’m Chwiis, and this concludes another epic episode of Balls of Steel. Until next time, goodnight folks! (End) (Preview for Episode 11 plays) “Next time on Balls of Steel…. Realizing how close they are to having control, Grass begins to fear Dark and Toast’s chances of going all the way.” Grass: I need to find a way to split Dark and Toast up, and fast! “Meanwhile, at the immunity challenge, lives are at stake in a deadly shooting game” Ally: Liek, ow! You shot me in the stomach, LOL! :) “It all happens next week on Balls of Steel, Episode 11: The Good, the Bad, and the Chunky” (End of preview)